I just ran the hardest I’ve ever ran in my entire life. As long as zombies can run a straight 30 min, I should be OK for at least the first week of Z-Day.
Speaking of flesh-eating zombies…did you see this article about some dude eating another guy’s face? That’s some hardcore zombie shit. Fortunately, a police officer was able to get the attacker away from the injured man by shooting the guy. Basically what we learn from this incident is to always travel with a cop during a zombie take over and make sure to never let anyone get near your face; apparently it looks like lunch.
In other news, while I’m eating 1200 calories to prepare for a food shortage crisis, my other half is trying to bulk up so he’s on a 4,000 calorie/day food regime. The worst part? He’s bitching about having to eat so much. I would LOVE to be able to eat 4,000 calories per day and not turn into a beached whale. Do you know how many tubs of Ben & Jerry’s that is??? So, Nadir. How about you STFU about being forced to eat so much.
That’s all the news for today. Keep up the great work! Remember, you’re beautiful, strong and we’re gonna survive together!!! Go #TeamICantShootButICanRun